Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
