Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
