walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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