I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
