Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
