did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
