Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
