is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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