I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
