I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
