her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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