Too much gin, very little bucket
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
