Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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