you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
