i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
