You can't motorboat a personality
and she was petting her beer can
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
