my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize