She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
