just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
