I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
