What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
