If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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