sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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