i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
