wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
