I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My vagina is very pro this idea
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
