I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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