And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
