And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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