so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
