Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
