I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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