If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
