What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
