I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
