Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
