i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
