It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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