Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
