How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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