A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
