maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
