I need help removing her.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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