1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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