so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
do herpes really smell.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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