My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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