Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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