Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
