we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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