Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
