My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
