But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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