nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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