You're my little dorito
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
