??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
