Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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