Your mouth is God's brothel.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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