the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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