Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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